I am a complete and utter failure to the human race and I have but one service hour to note. Not to mention this blog is somewhat like rubbing salt in an already throbbing open wound because having to write about it is admitting to my failure and I'm rarely willing to do that, though it happens often. I corresponded with the contact that was on the sheet of contacts that was given to us... and I thought that I had it all worked out. Worked out in the sense that I did talk to the man in charge but I had yet to rid myself of the terror I felt when I figured out that I was really going to have to follow through with this. (Not only that but I found out it was not the quaint one-on-one setting that I had imagined, but it was in fact a one-on-twenty scenario where the success of everyone in the class depends on me.) What it really boils down to is that after mustering up the courage to take the time to find this classroom, blindly enter and sit in a class full of people who at least share the common denominator of not knowing English, (so they can converse in OTHER languages I have no ability to understand) I end up sitting in the class for 20 minutes because the other tutor is late and the guy I talked to didn't even show up. I'm not even sure the tutor that showed up spoke English, so trying to communicate with her left me so exasperated that I just pushed Daley out the door and told her I was going with her to the Children's worship.

Instead I went and followed Daley while she met the woman in charge of children's worship. Laughing and talking and being naturally charming and socially inclined and I followed like a cowardly dog, dragging my tail between my legs all the way. One thing I learned about Daley is that she is really good with people... adult people even, and I would rather bathe with fire than suffer my own social awkwardness. We set up for the meeting and moved chairs and did things that people do when setting up meetings. I got one service hour but it wasn't something to be proud of. I got an email from the guy who didn't show up to my meeting and we're rescheduling but to be honest I have a feeling its not going to work out because in the week after my mishap a number of other students showed interest and I was asked to move to thursday's classes. I can't do thursdays.

Plans for service-blog 1

I am excited but anxious about beginning my service in Oxford. I'm really not too surprised that I am somewhat overwhelmed at the thought of the 20 hours that loom over me, even though you would think we have lots of time outside of class. I assumed (correctly) that orientation in Abilene was just a mean joke to begin the process of confusing our minds. A process which proved successful when the rest of the information was given en masse the minute we arrived. That's when my mind decided to go to lunch and it took my attention-span with it. This abundance of information is thrown at us just to see who would sink and who would swim. I'm sure that was the sinister purpose of the pre-departure orientation, sure of it. We've just been dropped in an unfamiliar territory and showered with information, warnings, advice and assignments, it's possible I am just slow but after the beginning of classes and balancing my time between class, ramblings, and sorting myself out I'm left a bit exhausted. Regardless, I am still ready to "plug-in" as it is called but I am a little wary as to how well I will be at time management. (Self doubt, what a way to start the semester.)

I plan to be an English tutor for the internationals pastor at St. Aldates. I have no idea whether I have the capabilities to do this, but as languages have always been a topic of interest for me I think that willingness to try counts more than my competence. I've yet to contact Pastor Danthon but intend to do so today. Contradictory to my doubts about finding the time to volunteer I may also try to connect with Viva Network. I've found just enough information about it to really catch my interest so I plan to call to see what opportunities are there, along with what sort of service it entails. Once again, I have no idea in this case of my capabilities to be of service to these organizations but here we all are outside of our comfort zone so there's no hurt in expanding myself. So, on that note here I go to force myself to make the call. I really hate making phone calls. I did however already enquire about volunteer opportunities at The Ashmolean Museum, (there wasn't any) which is a big step for me. So there.